


Clouds Beyond Clouds Above Me

by GreatKate



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-11 00:37:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10451094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreatKate/pseuds/GreatKate
Summary: Inspired by a line taken from the poem Spellbound by Emily Brontë





	

There is nowhere I feel more free than when I am in nature. I lie here on the hillside and look at my sketchbook, then up at the sky. The beauty of a spring sunset is something I can never quite capture on paper. The topaz colours of the clouds reflect off the tranquil water of the lake, the evening sunlight a warm glow behind them. Between where I lie and the edge of the lake, in a small copse of trees, I hear the songs of the birds who have returned to the trees to roost. These familiar sights and sounds make me feel safe; this is a place where I can forget my troubles. This evening, however, I cannot forget them because I came here to make a decision; perhaps the most important decision of my life.

 

My suitor, Mr. James Smith, has asked me for my hand in marriage. Whilst I am very flattered to be asked, my heart is unsure of what answer to give. It would, in many ways, be a wise decision to marry him because he is a successful banker. His wealth would give me the financial security that I could not get from living here on my father's estate. My brother will inherit all of the family wealth, whereas I inherit nothing. Being married would also give me a leading place in society because, as the wife of one of the most prominent men in the city, I would be more respected. My parents have said that the decision is mine although I know they would be very pleased to see me married to Mr. Smith.

 

However, I am worried that if I marry Mr. Smith, I will not have the freedom that I have here. I would have to go to live with him in the city, leaving my beloved countryside behind. Here in the country, the birds are free to come and go, flying anywhere as they please; in the city, people imprison their birds in cages, like convicted criminals. As Mr. Smith's wife, it would be my role to run his household and attend the many social engagements that come with that position, leaving me very little time for the drawing and painting which are so important to me. More than anything else, however, I fear that in my heart I may not love Mr. Smith. Perhaps I could grow to love him, but I cannot be sure.

 

I have always lived here, in the Yorkshire countryside. I love its hills and brooks and rolling moorland where I can wander all day without seeing another soul. I care nothing for the fine dresses and jewellery that people wear in the cities because I have all that I want in nature. I can wander all day without any responsibilities; looking at plants and animals, trying to capture their beauty in my sketchbook. The thought of being indoors all day, every day, like I am here when it rains, makes me feel stifled. For me, a life without fresh air, rivers and moorlands would be no kind of life at all.

 

I lie on the hillside, alone with my thoughts and gaze up at the clouds. My thoughts come and go like bees buzzing around a hive. The clouds have no cares or worries, instead they drift slowly in whatever direction the wind takes them. My heart longs to be free like the clouds. Of course, there are clouds everywhere, even in the city. But those clouds are polluted by smoke and smog and the air is a soup of factory fumes. The clouds in the city are dark and sad; I fear that my imagination would become the same if I was to spend the rest of my life in the city. Without my imagination and the opportunity to express it, I would become another person: not the person I am now and perhaps not the same woman Mr. Smith feels that he loves.

 

I shiver as I feel the evening air begin to cool. Realising that it is almost nightfall, I get up to walk home. As I walk I approach a stream; following it downhill, I hear the sound of the water flowing over the pebbles. I look ahead and see the stream split into two as it goes around a rock. The left hand stream weaves its way down the hill, following the path that leads to my father's estate. The other stream goes off to the right to an unknown place, flowing into the sunset and merging with the clouds in the distance. My route is obvious but I suddenly stop, the water flows on and I know what I have to do. I have made my decision and I know in my heart that this decision is right. I will follow my path into a future that is right. I am ready for whatever it may be; I know I will be happy.  

**Author's Note:**

> The original poem can be found here: https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/spellbound


End file.
